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Player Profile

The Gaffer

0.0 Gaffer

  • PositionGaffer
  • Style of PlayMidfield Maestro
  • Best AttributePatience of a Saint
  • Favourite TeamBirmingham City
  • Favourite PlayerLeo Muckle
  • Favourite SkillRoberto Carlos Swerve Ball
  • Favourite DrillThree Touch | One Touch Finish
  • Favourite GoalZacmar header v Lowdham
  • LikesWinning, Chinese food, Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc
  • DislikesThe midfield not working hard enough

Before taking charge of the most talented group of nine year old football players in the country, the gaffer studied Zen states under the Dalai Lama in Tibet. Surpassing even the Lama’s peaceful state, he was expelled from his monastery for being too laid back.

Seeking solace in the hallowed halls of the Southwell Minster, the Gaffer received enlightenment during the Lowes Wong Year Two Christmas carol service, where the good lord gifted him with the ability to shout at children until they gave up and did what he said. This, and a basic understanding of the rules of football, has allowed him to avoid coaching all of the talent out of the players.